You Gotta Just Do You, Boo.

You gotta just do you, boo.

This phrase. I cannot count on two hands the number of times I have said this, to my friends and to myself. For my friends, this usually comes after a break-up or some other form of heartbreak. “Maybe you just need to stay single for a while and just do you, boo.” Now, this hardly ever works because let’s be honest: no one listens to someone trying to comfort you when your heartbroken. All you can think about is the pain. But when you do drag yourself out of the burning hell of heartbreak, you remember those words. You remember the words that your friends spoke to you when trying to comfort you.

Here's the deal. You gotta do you first. You have to focus on you, focus on restoring your own sanity before you can deal with the insanity that is another human being. I don’t care how many people disagree with me. Trust me on this. The moment you love yourself, a whole new world opens to you. You see things in a completely different light. Loving yourself makes your whole life seems brighter.

I know it’s not easy to love yourself. Hell, I still struggle with myself every day. I’m still working on loving myself. But I promise you, putting your entire happiness into one person is not the answer to loving yourself. I battled this for a long time. And it sucks, because when they leave, so does your happiness. Put your happiness in things: hobbies, passions, and occasionally people. But do not put everything you are into one person because that’s when you lose yourself. That is when you lose who you really are.

I’m getting off topic. My point here is: find yourself before you try to find love. If you don’t know who you are, how will anyone else? Sometimes, you have to do life by yourself before you can do it with someone else. And that is perfectly okay. Don’t force yourself to stay in relationships with people who won’t matter to you in ten-twenty years. Stop believing in this stupid social construct that you have the be in a relationship to be happy.

And above all else, just do you, boo.