A Bad Week

Have you ever had a week where it feels like nothing is going your way and you just want to crawl under your covers and sleep forever? Yeah, that’s about how my life has gone for the past two weeks.

For those of you who don’t know, I have really bad hip and knee problems. Usually when the seasons change, and when the weather is extremely hot or cold, my joints will ache. Mostly it’s a dull, achy type of pain, but on bad days, it’s a sharp stabbing pain that leaves me nearly unable to walk. I’m working with my doctor on diagnosing it, but after extensive research and discussions with my friend that suffers from a form of Arthritis, I worry that arthritis is the problem.

In my state, around this time of year, the weather is all over the place. For a few days it will be warm weather, then it’s as if winter came overnight. This usually continues for the entire month of October, and occasionally part of November. So when the weather began the fluctuate, my joints began to ache. The last two weeks have involved an almost constant pain. On the colder days, it has been really bad. The sharp pains will appear out of nowhere, and Advil can only help so much. On top of that, allergy season is upon us.

So physically, my week has been bad enough. Mentally, I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. If you hadn’t figured it out from my last blog post, I made the decision to no longer speak to someone who meant a lot to me. Not being able to go to him and talk like we used to has made this week so much worse. This was a boy that knew everything about me and knew the exact words to help me through any situation because he knew me. Trying to forget about him has proven harder than I thought.

 I still think about him every day. I still look at all our old pictures and end up reminiscing for hours when I try to delete them. I still hope that he’ll text me and everything will be okay again. But I also know that I should have left him in the past a long time ago but I just can’t seem to let go. I know that he is not what I need and that I need to find someone who will love me the way I love them. But on weeks like these when it feels like everything is against me, including my own body, I want to go running back into his arms whether he wants me there or not. Because it feels like home with him. And I’m homesick.

I keep telling myself that tomorrow is a new day. That’s what you’ve gotta do on a week like this. Take every day as it happens. But try not to let one bad day ruin your week and don’t let one bad week or two ruin your month. I keep telling myself that I’ve made it through so much worse, and I can make it through this.